Parental Mediation

Parental Mediation

What it is

The Internet is a part of our daily lives, offering us new ways to communicate, work, learn, or have fun. However, it also carries some risks. To function in society, we all need to develop adequate technological skills. Teaching minors to use the Internet safely and responsibly is therefore a necessary task for all families. 

The objective of parental mediation is to train kids so that they are able to independently and responsibly face the risks of the Internet. For this, mediation encompasses education, support, and protection of minors in their digital learning process. 

In general, speaking about parental mediation is speaking about two types of strategies that are complementary and should be practiced simultaneously. 

  • Active mediation: supervision, support, and guidance. Active mediation includes the involvement of adults before, during, and after minors use of digital technologies. Setting an example when using new technologies, talking to them about the real risk of the Internet, and being aware of their online behaviour are educational attitudes and require being an active part of their development.
  • Restrictive mediation: establishing rules and limits. In order for minors to gradually learn to navigate the Internet safely, without the assistance of an adult, it is necessary to establish rules that will adapt to their age and maturity level. When putting these rules into practice, parental control tools, limited user accounts for minors, and applications specifically designed for them, such as safe search engines, can be helpful. 

 

  • In situation

    David is 9 years old and on his last birthday his grandparents gifted him his own tablet. He is delighted with his new “toy” with which he can now connect to the Internet. His parents would have preferred a different gift, but they did not want to ruin his surprise. The truth is it is not that serious either, a 9-year-old boy cannot get too far…Anyways, most kids his age already have a tablet or phone.

    As soon as David gets home from school he goes straight to his room, and does not let go of his tablet until dinner time. His parents start to see that he is leaving his other games aside, even his favorites, and that he does nothing but go on the Internet. When asked what he is doing, he always replies, “watching videos”. .

    One day, sounds of gunshots come from the open door of his room. His parents look into his room, “What is it that you are watching son?” David, shrugging his shoulders says, “nothing, videos”. And he hands them the tablet.

    Feeling paralyzed his parents watch, realizing that the videos David has been watching are extremely violent: they look like war scenes, but it is clear that the weapons and victims are real. They don’t know how to react. They wonder how long these videos have been in the hands of their 9-year-old son and what else he could have found on the Internet. How can they help him make better use of the Internet?

  • Facilitating communication

    The main tool we have in parental mediation is communication. Making technology, as well as the Internet and its risks part of family conversations is within our control, and our best tool to convey positive messages to our children about responsible Internet usage. It will also be crucial when it comes to detecting problems and reacting in time.

    Availability. To build a trusting relationship, the child must know that adults will always be available to help solve any problems they may face or questions that arise. Avoiding exaggerated reactions or blaming them generates more trust.

    Encouraging social skills and critical thinking. A key aspect of communication with children is the internalization of critical thinking that helps them evaluate their actions and decisions. Self-esteem, assertiveness, and empathy are positive social skills that will help them handle conflict appropriately.

    Supervision and communication. Monitoring their online activity doesn’t mean using “spying techniques”. The child can share their Internet experience with us if we foster communication and trust. If we choose to use parental control tools, viewing them as a complement to our educational and communicative work, it´s important to talk to the child about installing these tools and reasons for using them.

    Communication in adolescence. There are ages and stages when communication may be affected, but if there is a trusting environment in the family, the child will know they can turn to their parents or another trusted adult for help if there are problems, without fear of potential repercussion.

    Listening and guiding. Communication is a channel that must remain open in both directions. Therefore, it is necessary to listen to children, understand what they think, what they do, and how they interact online. When listening it is essential not to judge prematurely and focus on the aptitudes that need improvement.

  • Prevention of abuse of use

    Promoting balance in the use of new technologies is essential to prevent problems of overuse or dependence. To achieve this balance, it is necessary to instill moderation and a critical attitude in children so they can find a balance between the advantages of the Internet and technological devices, versus excessive use and dependence on them for any task.

    This objective starts by avoiding connection out of boredom and connection habits that interrupt other activities, such as constantly checking messaging apps to see if there are any notifications. We must set an example for children with our own attitude and encourage balanced use.

    As much as possible, family devices should be placed in common areas of the home to monitor how they are being used and convey the idea that the Internet is a public space where anyone can see what you do, share, or post. In this regard, we can also use parental control tools or family agreements to establish usage hours and rules with the child.

    Encouraging self-confidence and maintaining healthy habits outside of the Internet, such as playing sports, engaging in outdoor activities, reading, or spending time with friends, is crucial to prevent the Internet from becoming the only option for leisure. Similarly, teaching them to manage their emotions and moods is important to prevent the Internet from becoming a refuge for solving their problems.

Mediación parental

 

Promoting safe use

In addition to facilitating healthy family communication, parental mediation must be adapted to each stage of development to be effective, progressive, and coherent:

  • Children, aged 3 to 5
    • Always accompanied. Prevention should start from the very moment they access electronic devices, or even earlier. They should never be alone on the Internet, and you can use this time together to share their experiences and instill values and attitudes regarding safety and privacy. If, at any point, the child could be left alone with a phone or tablet, the possibility of accidentally accessing the Internet should be eliminated.
    • Clear rules from the start. From the start, it is necessary to set limits on the time and moments of use. Its essential that these rules are clear, reviewed from time to time, and not commonly ignored. It´s good practice for them to participate in creating these rules.
    • Content selection. All the content the child will access should be selected in advance to ensure its appropriate for their age and maturity.
  • Children, aged 6 to 9
    • Limited Internet access. As children mature, they also become more independent. Due to this, it is necessary to set up limited Internet access depending on the maturity level of the child, on all the devices they have available to them.
    • Adapted and quality content. If the content is no longer selected in advance, it is advisable to use parental control programs that limit accessible content, promoting appropriate and positive content.
    • Adaptation of rules and limits. Rules and limits should adapt as children grow, mature, and take on more responsibility. Parental control tools can be useful to limit screen time and content, but we should always discuss these rules with the child so that they understand them. For example, explaining why they should not share their phone number or address.
    • Emphasizing responsible use of the Internet. At this age, it is important to highlight aspects such as privacy protection, device protection, and critical thinking regarding the information they may encounter. Additionally, we will begin to place importance on their socialization and contact with others through the Internet.
  • Preadolescents, aged 10 to 13
    • More open environments. Little by little we can begin to eliminate restrictions, expand their ability to make decisions regarding content, and gradually adapt existing parental controls.
    • Selection of video games: . The majority of video game consoles also have Internet connection, and are one of the most used content types at this age. To determine which games are suitable, PEGI ratings can serve as a guideline.
    • Establish family rules. The rules should evolve in line with the child´s development and be agreed upon, making it easier for them to commit to and accept them. We will particularly focus on issues such as respecting others, thinking before posting, and being selective with contacts they add.
    • Establishing criteria for their first mobile phone: . Despite social pressure, we must assess whether the child is mature enough to have their own phone. When the time comes, agree on the usage rules and discuss potential problems and consequences that may arise.
    • Prevention of the most common problems. This is the age when cases of cyberbullying increase, due to the entry into social media. Similarly, curiosity about sexuality arises, bringing risks such as sexting or grooming. Therefore, it is important to address these topics in advance, so we are prepared for possible incidents, encouraging them to come to us if a problem arises.
  • Adolescents and young adults, from 14 years old onward
    • Greater autonomy. At these ages, restrictions and parental controls gradually lose their effectiveness, so we will encourage their responsibility regarding the content or topics that may attract their curiosity such as violence, pornography, harmful trends, or dangerous online communities.
    • Responsible use of social media and instant messaging. Their main motivation for using the Internet is to connect with others, through social media and instant messaging. They must be aware and critical with the personal information they share, prioritizing respect for others.
    • Encourage them to maintain a positive reputation: . It is important at these ages to focus on the image they are projecting through the Internet and the potential consequences it may have, both now and in the future..
    • Consensus on new rules: . Once again, rules and restrictions should tend toward greater freedom and autonomy. Family agreements are useful for ensuring that the rules are accepted by adolescents, with them being actively involved in the decision making.

 

How to react in case of conflict

Listen and discuss. It is necessary to calmly ask your child what happened, in order to collect all the information and understand the situation without judging them.

Reinforce their self-esteem and offer advice. They should know that they have support and understanding, and that the goal is not to find blame, but to find solutions. Once the situation has calmed down, analyze the causes together to prevent it from happening again.

Create a plan. Problems are not going to solve themselves, action is needed. We should avoid improvisation by creating an action plan and involving the child so they understand why each step is taken and how they should act.

Seek specialized helpa. There are many help lines where you can contact psychologists, lawyers, and experts in security and education. Schools or health centers can also provide guidance and play an important role in resolving the issue, whether the incident involves other students or simply because it is the place where the child spends the most time and can receive the most support.

In serious situations: report. In more complex cases, we should contact the relevant departments of the security forces or the Juvenile Prosecutors Office.

Do you have any questions or need more personalized assistance regarding the safe and responsible of the Internet for minors? Contact us with the Your Help in Cybersecurity help line, 017. It is a free and confidential service. 

 

Línea de Ayuda en Ciberseguridad de INCIBE 017

 

 

 

Imagen encuesta de valoración servicios IS4K

Ayúdanos a mejorar

 

Tu opinión es muy importante para nosotros.